Post Trip Trauma

Random thoughts (I have a lot of these...often...)


We went to Arizona the first week of April to visit family. We drove. We had lots of fun, ate good food, and had a great time.  I made new resolutions. I was going to go home, eat better, work harder on losing weight (darn those big mirrors), and most of all, make more of an effort on organizing my home.

Then, reality hits. The first few days home, my fibro flares up. A flare is basically when all the symptoms are at their worst.  I think it was a reaction to the trip. Doing anything differently, physically, or even mentally, wears me out. The next few days I was also sick, but I'm not sure if it was fibro or a virus, or just plain ol' PMS. Nevertheless, nothing got done. Again.

It is so frustrating to look at my filthy house. It's relativity clean, I mean, the dishes are usually done and there's no mold or anything... but it's a cluttered mess. Toys, paper, clothes, etc. all over. You can't even walk into the kids room. But I can't do it alone. I try to get the kids to help, and most of the time they help, but not in a deep cleaning way that needs to be done.

So, what do I do? Do I give up, just knowing that I can only do a little bit each day? That's what I've been doing, and it's so hard to look around after wearing myself out, and still seeing messes. I finally get it somewhat under control, but since I worked so hard I go into fibro flare, and spend the next few days collapsed. So, my house gets thrown apart yet again. It's a never ending, vicious cycle.

But, there are some pluses from last week. I ate better. I ate out less often, and cooked more. I planned, shopped for, and carried out a project for my kids and I to do.

Just yesterday I got told again, "I don't know how you do it, Krista. You work, have 3 kids, and are PTA President."  Well, I know how I do it. I don't clean my house! Something's gotta give, right? 

Maybe this week will be better. Here's hoping.


Update: I love this message by Elder Ballard:

 "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother... Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children... What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." Elder M. Russell Ballard

Amen.